How do i gently

Leaving wiggle room for your ex to wonder, 'Is it really over? Being vague is not compassionate. Finally, letting someone down gently isn't just about the actual breakup — it's also about what happens afterward.

If you don't want to be with this person, going back to them or continuing to hook up with them can be very, very cruel. You should only make any move toward getting back together if you're sure it's the right thing — and what you want.

There's no perfect way to end things with someone, but you can try to let them down as gently as possible. This means being clear and direct, but also giving them room to ask questions and have their say. And, whatever you do, remember that it's important not to give them any mixed signals or go back to them just for comfort. You're making the choice to break things off, so it's up to you to set healthy boundaries.

By Lea Rose Emery. See All Health Relationships Self. Despite their enormous numbers, the role of the lesser gentry in the epic battle of commercial versus gentle mores is virtually never mentioned. You must be nonjudgmental and compassionate, gentle yet direct when needed, and above all, patient.

In work started on bypassing the incline with a gentler bank 1 in He was very gentle as he went through the ritual anointing. With a gentle push on the back, the human body reacts with the ankle strategy. The little sweep of gentle birth expresses something of this fear when he catches sight of his reflection in a mirror.

See all examples of gentle. These examples are from corpora and from sources on the web. Any opinions in the examples do not represent the opinion of the Cambridge Dictionary editors or of Cambridge University Press or its licensors. Translations of gentle in Chinese Traditional.

See more. Need a translator? Translator tool. What is the pronunciation of gentle? Browse genteel. Test your vocabulary with our fun image quizzes. Image credits. Word of the Day have a heart of gold. Blog Outsets and onsets!

Read More. November 08, To top. English American Examples Translations. This will allow any lingering loose threads to be addressed. Take responsibility yourself. If you're letting someone down easy, you need to take full responsibility for your decision.

Oftentimes, people feel it will be easier if their partner initiates the breakup. However, you are the one whose feelings have changed. It's your responsibility to start the breakup conversation. Trying to lead your partner to the conclusion, that you want to break up, through subtle cues is not only dishonest it can be confusing.

Your partner may not get the message and begin to question him or herself as you subtly pull away. If you want to let someone down easy, you need to take full responsibility of your decision. Be open and direct about your feelings. It's best to be honest when letting someone down.

While you do not have to go over every single reason you want out, it's important to be direct about your expectations. Make it clear you want to end the relationship and give your partner a brief explanation as to why. The essential message that most breakups boil down to is, "You're not what I'm looking for. This will allow the recipient to have a sense of closure as he or she will understand your reasoning. It's okay to gently say something like, "I'm sorry, but I'm not in love with you anymore.

I need something different right now and I think we should go our separate ways. Something like, "Sorry, but I'm not feeling a significant spark between us.

I think we would be better off friends. It's not a good idea to go over your partner's past mistakes or current pitfalls. If you're leaving because you're no longer attracted to your partner, for example, this might be best unsaid. If you want to let someone down easy, keep your statements for ending the relationship general and don't hesitate to praise your partner's good qualities instead of talking about what didn't work.

This helps convey the message that you simply don't want to be with them anymore instead of insulting them as a person. Keep it short. Once again, while it's great to be honest you should also be direct. You are not doing your partner any good by beating around the bush and avoiding the subject at hand. Start the conversation off with a direct declaration of what you want, something like, "I wanted to talk to you because I don't feel this relationship is working out.

Try to speak from the heart rather than going over a prepared speech. Letting someone down can be difficult but remaining calm and collected is important. This way, you'll be able to get your words out in a concise manner. Becoming overly emotional can result in confusing rambling, obscuring the message at hand.

Try to spend some time emotionally preparing for the conversation by running over a script in your head. While memorizing a speech may not be the best route, this can make you come off as cold, having some idea of what you can say can help you focus. Practice your words a few times before the confrontation. Offer friendship, if you're able. Offering some kind of consolation at the end of a relationship can help reduce the sting of the blow.

If possible, offer friendship to your ex. Say something like, "I hope we can stay friends. If you do not think you can reasonably remain friends with someone, do not make the offer. Part 2. Speak without cliches. When letting someone down easy, it's important to avoid anything your ex might find patronizing or insulting. Cliches, such as "It's not you, it's me," can feel dishonest. Instead, express yourself directly and abandon cliche language.

Speaking to your own personal experience is best when letting someone down easy. Do not place blame. You may feel some anger and resentment if you're choosing to end a relationship. It can be tempting to attribute blame to your ex, especially if he or she hurt you. However, if you want to let your ex down easy playing the blame game is not a good idea.

Avoiding negativity of any kind is one of the best ways to spare someone's feelings. Going over past mistakes or resentments can spur an argument, resulting in an unclean and unpleasant breakup. Avoid being sucked into a negative conversation. If your partner tries to put you down for your actions, counter with something like, "I'm sorry you feel that way but it doesn't change my decision. Avoid social media in the direct aftermath. Social media can be particularly toxic in the wake of a breakup.

If you want to let your ex down easy, avoid posting about the breakup online. Even accounts you think he or she might not access to could potentially discovered. While many find social media cathartic when coping with a breakup, keep in mind your ex's feelings may be hurt by what you choose to post. It may also be a good idea to stop following your ex on any social media platforms.

During a breakup, you'll need time to cultivate some space between you and your partner to help you move on. Severing the social media tie a bit can help. In general, it's best to not get others involved.

Instead, try to keep things between you and your ex. Mutual friends with good intentions can interfere and make the situation more complicated than it needs to be. Part 3. Focus on the good times. You can help yourself and your ex cope by choosing to focus on the positive. Towards the end of the breakup conversation, try to focus on mutual benefit. Emphasize all the good things your partner has done for you. Make sure she leaves the conversation feeling like the relationship was worthwhile even if it did not work out.

Say something like, "You really made me feel good about myself and pushed me to be a kinder, more empathetic person. I will always be grateful for that. While acknowledging it may take some time, encourage your partner to cherish the good times you had together. Relationships are primarily social exchanges and people have a natural tendency to search for their benefits.

Your partner will appreciate you helping him or her seek positives even as the relationship ends. Be upfront about lessening contact. As previously stated, it can be helpful to leave the door open for friendship. However, you do not want to give mixed messages. Be honest about what kind of contact you want to have with your ex.